A few years back I watched the movie “Lost Daughter”. A deeply moving performance by Olivia Coleman about the struggle her character had between what she wanted from her life and what motherhood took from her. It was real, raw and humanly flawed. It wasn’t the glory of motherhood, or the sacrifices she made but the guilt of wanting something as an individual. The depiction was real, the character was conflicted and the idea of being a mom was not the syrupy praise splurged during mother’s day. As you can tell by now I love motion pictures and I find a lot of inspiration in great cinema. I have always enjoyed the characters played by Frances McDormand. From the lovely Fern in Fargo, the black comedy maestro in Burn after Reading, the deeply determined Mildred in Three billboards. Her depictions speak heavily to the individuality of each person she represented. In this rare interview with NY times around the Nomadland release, the writer very aptly describes her “McDormand specialises in playing women with worldviews. You can tell right away what they like and don’t like, who they would be friendly with and who they can’t stand”.
While I have loved these stories & characters on screen. It also inspired me to write this note because I often find an imbalance in how we celebrate women. It can be unsuspecting but deeply limiting.
Selfless, multitasker, nurturing, incredible organiser, the demi god of virtue. None of these things are less important but can be limiting if we don’t go beyond this construct when we think of women in our life or even in public life. It also transcends from the personal to the professional sphere.
What I haven’t heard enough of, is the woman genius, and there are many who deserve that tag. In my mind genius comes from non linear thinking, breaking the pattern, pushing the boundaries and does not belong to excellence in conformance. In a society that is seeking to give women agency, somewhere we have to drop the idea of what an ideal woman is. We simply have to hold women accountable to the ideals of being human, allowing them to decide how they shape their own personalities. Also allow us to be funny, eccentric, terrible multitaskers, superbly genius and flawed all at the same time.
I just hope that in times to come, more women get to define their own identity and we love and celebrate them in the many many versions that they come.